Agape Love

When we first got married, my husband would lovingly ask me about 50 times a day, “Are you ok? Why are you sighing so much?” And I laugh at that now, because back then I didn’t even realize that I sighed that often throughout the day…it was just something I did!
 
It takes another person being aware of you and your habits to even realize you do things yourself, and being called out on that drove me to (not so lovingly) yell out, “Can’t a person just sigh?!”
 
I have to smile thinking back on those early days, because we are better together now. He knows not to ask me that question all day long, and I’ve come to appreciate that he asks it in the first place.
 
This past Sunday, as we talked about the idea of “checking up on each other” in a loving way, I couldn’t help but smile and think of my husband.
 
I also thought about the many ways God has checked up on me…how He is always there to see and know and feel how I am doing. His example of agape love has truly changed me.
 
The specific language used in Ephesians 5:29 that pointed to the words “nourish” and “cherish” were beautiful to think about. We actually have a God who not only wants to pour into us, but also protects us in the process. Healing and growth happen in a safe and protected place. And once that love comes in, it changes you.
 
Have you ever thought about how the love of God has changed you?
 
Has He brought you close, only to love you in a way that you couldn’t even imagine? What kind of impact has that made on your relationships, your friendships, or your marriage?
 
It takes knowing a great love to give a great love, and we have that in Christ.
 
As we talked about that tender love of the Lord this past Sunday and how it plays out in our relationships, it made me think of the verse below:
 
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” (Isaiah 40:11, NIV)
 
Since I have been loved with such tenderness, it only makes sense to turn around and pour that back out to other people.
 
But why do we withhold that love? Why is it hard sometimes? Or even…most of the time?
 
I can only speculate, but I’m guessing that you’ve tried at one point to give agape love, arms open wide…full of hope and promise…only to be hurt on the other side.
 
That kind of love often isn’t reciprocated, or deserved, or appreciated. What happens then? How do we love again?
 
This quote by Martin Luther King Jr. stood out to me about agape love:
 
“Agape is something of the understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill for all men. It is a love that seeks nothing in return. It is an overflowing love; it's what theologians would call the love of God working in the lives of men. And when you rise to love on this level, you begin to love men, not because they are likeable, but because God loves them.”
 
It’s less about whether or not the person in front of you deserves that kind of love, and more about whether or not you choose to demonstrate the love of Christ openly, freely, knowing God sees the motive of your heart. Yes, it’s true, we will get hurt at times. Our love will go unappreciated and devalued. We will feel the sting of another human being choosing flesh and self over reciprocating that love.
 
But we will also see something much more beautiful as we give this love out over our lifetime…we will see the hand of God. We will see how He guided us to love in supernatural ways. We will speak, and not believe the words that came out because they were directed by the Holy Spirit. We will give and experience God’s loving touch in the details, blessing us over and abundantly. We will embrace, only to feel the warmth of Christ radiate through our bodies.
 
Agape love in action is beautiful. It’s not like anything we see in this world. It’s a powerful witness to the unbelieving heart.
 
How is God challenging you this week to demonstrate that kind of love? Who has He placed in your path that doesn’t “deserve” the love you have to give, but will be shown the heart of God through your selflessness?
 
Let Him speak to you today, revealing hearts He wants to reach with His immovable, unending, agape love.
Erika Pizzo
Erika is an author of various books on the topics of faith, mental health, and victory in Christ. She also hosts the weekly podcast “Temple Care” where she provides regular messages of encouragement. Erika lives with her husband, daughter, son, and their fluffy poodle in sunny Southern California. Her two favorite things are a visit to the beach and a chai latte in hand.